Lunch hour; it always arrives in the nick of time here in the Funny Pharm. Last week, it was that woman with the devil horns that I felt the need to escape from. Today, I was nearly driven batshit insane. You see, if you approach the counter and I tell you that your meds are not ready yet, but to feel free to have a seat on the bench, or shop around, and I'll let you know when it's ready, I mean just that. I'll call you to the front of the line as soon as your drugs are bagged and given the thumbs up by the RPh. However . . . this woman. Ugh. She got back into the line and stood in it no less that FOUR times, each time she approached my counter she was getting pissier and pissier. I assured her that the pharmacist had her order in his hands right that very minute and was working on bagging it. "But you told me that fifteen minutes ago!" Yes, yes I did. You have SEVEN different meds needing filled for yourself, and two for your husband, this takes time. Do you really want the pharm to just toss random drugs in willy-nilly and helter-skelter and 'Oh well, I was in a hurry, so here you go'? The RPh who was working on your order must have seen your idiotic behavior of standing in line over and over to harass me multiple times, because when he was finished he came over to personally explain to you why it had taken so long. He'd been on the phone with either your doctor or insurance company, not sure which, fixing things so that you didn't end up paying $800 for that stuff in the tan bottle. Your response?

"Oh well I wouldn't have paid for it if that happened!"

No thanks to the man for troubling himself over it, no nods of understanding as to why the order took longer than it should have, nothing. Nothing but entitlement. And I really love how people decide they want to up and walk away or demand we 'give a prescription back' so they can take it to another pharmacy RIGHT as it's being finished and handed over the counter to me. Gah, just take your attitude and go to hell. Fortunately that was the worst thing that happened all day, although this lovely patron also decided to open the prescription bag and take out every single one of the meds and examine them at length, then proceed to ask the RPh no less than three questions about each of them. Wait, I thought you were in a hurry? I thought you had sick people waiting in the car? I just really hate people like this, and I was glad to see that one of my old friends from the front end had arrived at 4PM on the dot, exactly halfway through my day, and told me to go ahead and leave for lunch. I usually like to go as late as I can, but since she was there, and I was starting to go nuts, I was more than ready. Also Pippy and I worked the same schedule today and I wanted to hang out with him for a while.

We see just about everything at Volde-Mart. Going back in from our first break, the lady who is head of safety and Loss Prevention drew our attention to something she'd spotted coming in along with us. A man, pushing his small child in a cart had stopped dead in his tracks after passing the cart area, whipped out some Q-tips, and started swabbing the kid's ears out. Really . . . really? Who does this? Who even carries Q-tips with them?

An older man came to my register in the Funny Pharm to ring out a small purchase. KY Yours and Mine. I really shouldn't be grossed out by this as everyone has sex, but why is it that when people buy lingerie, condoms, and lube, it's always the last kind of person you'd ever in your life want to picture participating in such activities? Eurgh.

Pharm was pretty dead and one of the techs insisted I go and enjoy a last break, even though we were closing in half an hour. Woohoo, legitimate paid free time! I'll just go walk up front and if I never made it outside or to the break room because I got hung up in the produce department, oh well. Blah blah blah, shoot the shit, blah blah . . . wah?

Pip: "Is that . . . is that man in a skirt? He is. That guy's wearing a skirt!"

Lo and behold, what would appear to be a normal looking customer from the waist up goes by a good distance away, but indeed, that's not a pair of baggy shorts he's got on. The man really is wearing a skirt. Huh. Well, I guess you don't see that every day.

Sob Story

I was warned I'd get a few like this when I started in the Pharm. Lady was getting some oxycodone last night. I needed her ID so I could log it in our book, as we do with all narcotic drugs. Her male friend (whom I had wrongly assumed was her husband) went dutifully out to the car to get it, and while we were waiting for him to come back, she shared with me the fact that she'd gotten a hysterectomy done last Monday and two days later her husband decided to punch her in the stomach. What the FUCK WHO DOES THIS?! The friend she was with turned out to be a former police officer turned corrections officer who is actually re-entering the force soon. She's living with him for now and he leaves her with a handgun every day. I sincerely hope things work out for her and she manages to never see the toxic husband again. I don't care how upset he might be with her for whatever reason, if there's even a reason at all. He should have just left her and moved on with his life, I don't think there's any excuse for donkey punching a post op hysterectomy patient! I hope Karma visits him soon, I hear she's a real bitch.

Meanwhile, in Hobbiton . . .

Talked to Pips a lot today, since we had the same shift and all. He wasn't overly flirtatious and I couldn't take him anywhere, since I don't have my truck on Mondays and Tuesdays, but we laughed a lot. The produce department ran out of their bags and he'd been getting bitched at all day for it. How a multi-billion dollar company runs out of such basic stuff is one of the great mysteries of life, I suppose. He actually did mention the fair, but I didn't ask him if he wanted to go yet. If it comes up again tomorrow (same shift again, huzzah!) I'll bite the bullet and do it. The worst he can do is say no, right? I was pretty thrilled to hear that the only reason he'd go is to get the sausage they sell at the concession stands and wouldn't do rides because he'd just throw up everywhere. I used to love rides, but last time I tried them I ended up dry-heaving after each one, so it would have been a problem if he wanted to go and get his guts spun silly. Eurgh, I hate tilt-a-whirls. He also mentioned that he doesn't think his kids are going because they haven't hit him up for money for it, which is good because now if I do manage to get him to come with me, I won't be taking him away from them. Heaven help me I don't want to be "That bitch who takes my Dad's time" to anyone. Another funny thing came up, one way or another, and he mentioned he really wants to see a movie he thinks came out.

Harry Potter.

I mean . . . really Pips, you? Harry Potter? Not that that isn't really awesome because I want to see it too, but you just really didn't seem like the type. He also mentioned he really liked Lord of the Rings. I wonder what he'd think if he ever knew I referred to him as a hobbit frequently in the company of family and friends. Of course he also mentioned that he's "Too much of a lazy dumbass" to read the books, but that he really enjoyed all the movies. I told him he's mean to himself like that.

"Hey, I'm truthful." He wasn't smiling when he said it. Bah, you make me sad when you do that to yourself, Pip. Granted I'm aware by the online chats I've had with you that you're not the most literate person I know, but you're not a dumbass. And I don't care if your back makes weird noises when you stand up, you're not old, either.

But anyways, at least he's talking more again. Last night he was clocking out and I tried to stop him by grabbing him by the arm and going "Nnnnooooooooo!" He just turned around the other way and used his other arm, pfft. But he didn't pull away from me, either. There I go again, reading into the tiniest things. But then again, I'm not the kind of person who just touches anybody. Some people you can touch and it's like 'eh' or 'that was weird' or even 'ick'. But with Pips it just feels like the most natural thing ever, even all those months ago when I hardly knew him and he wanted me to hold his hand so we could start fake rumors.

I really need to get this shit sorted out . . . :(