Maybe I am weak. Over sympathetic. Or maybe just weak and sympathetic when it pertains to certain people. I don't about him on the forums much anymore, because everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief when I took the step to 'delete' him from my life, and bringing him up again would just be asking for ridicule. But I've let him back in again, although I'm not obsessing or bordering on stalking him this time. And I would like to state that it was all him this time, and I was merely too weak and soft-hearted to Ice Queen my way out of his life. I was trying to hurry out the door for lunch, even moreso when I realized he was working just a few feet away from where I was walking. A few days later I ended up walking outside with him to the parking lot when he left and he asked me out to lunch for payday because he missed hanging out with me. So naturally that Wednesday I found myself getting showered and dressed and driving to town on my day off, because I swore I'd never be seen with him again and all that jazz. I'm confident it was a friends-only thing because he brought his brother, J. It was nice,albeit a little weird, but J is a sweet guy and we've met before. A sweet gay guy, as I learned only recently, which kind of shocked me. Usually my gaydar is pretty darned accurate and I would have probably never suspected. Gay rednecks, they DO exist! What an oxymoron, eh? Ken goes out to the gay bar with him sometimes and says they have a really good time; I didn't even know we had a gay bar in this little hick town. The first annual pride festival is happening there right this very minute, as a matter of fact. I kind of wanted to go since half of my Voldemart buddies are sure to be there and I love them to death, but I'm having a “Can't be arsed to do ANYTHING” kind of day. I'll go sometime though, that's the second time I've been invited to a gay bar and didn't end up going. Maybe before Student Tech leaves we'll hit one up with her and her girlfriend. But in short, yeah, I've gone and let Frosted Flake back in again, the future will show if I have chosen poorly. I even yellow bellied out and went “Um, hey I accidentally deleted you from Facebook. I haven't gotten used to the new phone yet and I must have clicked something. Sorry.” It's ok if you roll your eyes. But we're just friends and I'm satisfied with that, for the most part. As sappy as it sounds, I love him too much to cut him out completely, and he is nice to be around once in a while, although he's still evasive when I tell him I need to kidnap him for a weekend at the beach or get drunk together. One day, maybe. After lunch that day I thanked him (he paid for himself and me but poor J was on his own, eliciting further confusion from me, but whatever) and he gave me a big hug. The more I think about it, it kind of was the 'opportune moment', and J probably wouldn't have felt too terribly awkward if I had grabbed his baby brother by the head and laid one on him right there, but for then, the hug was enough. There's no telling what goes on in that whiskey-soaked mind of Ken's, but sometimes I have to remember that he's got a hell of a lot of stuff to deal with besides the weird redhead in the pharmacy. Short lived statuses revealed that he's not sure what's going on right now but that he still loves everybody, and that his daughter is mad at him and he intends to make it up to her by doing something, just the two of them, this weekend. It's curious that the statements that seem to actually come from his heart and prove he's got feelings after all are the ones he goes back and deletes in the morning. He's a strange creature, that's all I can say. Most friends can be curious creatures, as I've learned. The only real issue is . . . he's invading my dreams again. Multiple times nightly. And during afternoon naps, too. Hrm. And I wake up pissed off to find it isn't real.

I recently made the decision to distance myself from my friend Dix for a while, just at least a little bit. For a few weeks, it was getting to the point where she wanted to spend every last free minute we had together, even if it meant sitting in her living room watching Tivoed episodes of dreadful reality shows or me sitting at the lunch table bored to tears while she played fucking stupid Plants Vs. Zombies on her cell phone and didn't talk to anyone. Before the manager started giving me so many opening shifts, she relied on me to pick her up from her temporary home at a friend's house and take her to work, and then back at night. Except when I got there, I always had to wait for her to finish getting dressed, even if I was later than I said I would be, or finish a cigarette, or finish a level on the damn zombie game. And the same when we left at night. I don't care if she needs a quick smoke and I appreciate her being respectful enough not to try it in my truck, but put the damn phone down, I don't like waiting around for you to plant enough plants to keep animated zombies off your imaginary lawn or catapult birds at pigs. I also spent two late nights after work that week helping her move some things from their old house (it was repossessed) into her friend's house. Then she wants me to hang around at the place after I drop her off at night, even if I have an opening shift the next day. It wasn't too bad until the time she insisted I come in the house while her friend, friend's boyfriend and all the kids were gone, and then after a few moments abruptly said “I don't mean to be rude but if Friend comes home and finds people here in the house she'll have fuzzy kittens.” What the ever-loving FUCK?! I asked repeatedly if she was sure I should be in the house when her friend wasn't there, and she said yes, and then pretty much kicks me out on my ass? And still hasn't repaid the $40 I 'lent' them for gas. I just have a hard time garnering sympathy with them about losing the house – her husband has been out of work for months because he had a mental breakdown at the prison where he worked. He didn't really try very hard to get a new job, spending most of his time playing WoW or staying online all night or watching Supernatural all day. And then she, knowing they were in financial straights, still continued to smoke some of the most expensive menthols on the market, forked out $30 a month EACH for their WoW subscriptions, went out to restaurants, and bought a $90 a month smartphone plan, plus putting out for cable TV. Come on, if it was between that crap and losing my HOME, you'd better believe I'd be downsizing my damn lifestyle! That's not mentioning the little things . . . the comments about how she sometimes wants to kill her husband, or kill Ken, because they're assholes and no one would ever find the bodies. Um . . . I know 'kill the guy that broke your heart' has been a joke and a form of support for a while, but no. And no, I will not “Tell Ken you have a girlfriend LOLOLOL”. It just started to get a little creepy, is all. She seems back to normal now, but whew. I need a few new friends, LOL. Oh, and why, praytell, is her husband an 'asshole'? Because one morning she woke up 'sick' and asked him to get her clothes out of the closet and lay them out for her, after he'd been working all night and drove an hour to get home, and he said no. Grow the fuck up, sister. I'm sure that's part of the reason I was glad to go meet Ken and J at Moe's, it was just really refreshing to sit down with people who only periodically checked their phones instead of being glued to it the whole time, or went on and on about the latest crappy thing that happened to them and bemoaned the unfairness of life. I wanted to be supportive for her, but I was starting to feel like a doormat and a romantic parter rather than a friend. I dunno, I just think things are a little messed up when it's like “Lunch with friend A? Oh gawd . . .” “Lunch with friend B, with criminal record, drinking problem, and his brother? OMG yay!”

Although I have somewhat of a dilemma . . . before I decided to cut our time together, I told Dix I would request four days off at her birthday with her so we could go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando at Universal. Then I realized, what the hell are we gonna do there for three days? To put it delicately, she is . . . too large to fit on any rides. How much butterbeer and Honeyduke's products can one consume in three days and when will that start to get boring? Fortunately it sounds like my nephew's Mom is renewing his Universal pass so he'll at least be able to go with me. I've actually thought about inviting Ken, too, but she'd probably kill me and I doubt he could afford it anyways. Eh, you never know. I might get a pass and go back down afterwards for Halloween Horror nights, he did mention wanting to do that. And again, as Barbossa would say “But I doubt it.”

Ok, in other news! My poor nephew is incredibly homesick and fed up with his other grandfather and intends to move back up here ASAP. He was going to wait until October because that would end his probation period at his new job, but he's going to try to transfer now if they'll let him, and he's let me put his application back in at my Voldemart store. The two above mentioned dysfunctional friends both told me that no less that thirty people were fired last week, I'm sure they'll need replacing! Even if he doesn't transfer or get hired at my store, he's probably going to put in his two weeks noticed and come back down. I'm pretty darn thrilled. Not about the people getting fired, but about nephew coming back. For as much as I bitched about him and argued with him and called him a dumbass, it's been a really dull two months around here without him. I miss seeing movies with him and doing fun stuff with him and his friends. I haven't been to the beach or springs since he left because everyone is always busy and I can never get Ken to go with me, either. Nephew hasn't gotten to see the new Potter movie yet because his grandfather won't take him and he can't get a friend from work to take him, either. His grandfather gets mad if he even buys a six pack of soda because “ZOMG you're supposed to be saaaaaviiiiing your monnnneeeeeyz!” It just sounds perfectly miserable and the old man sounds like a real asshole. He says he talks and texts too much. Uh, hello? What else is he supposed to do all day in a senior retirement community in a house with no door on his bedroom? I don't know why he invited him down there to live if he was gonna be like this. He's also been bitching he can't have 'female company' over with nephew there. What the fuck he's 70, I don't even wanna think about that. Anywho I've told Nephew just to let me know and I can come get him in a pinch if I have the day off, but I also told him to give notice and not just up and quit his job like I've done. Honestly I really can't wait until I get that call or text letting me know he's ready for me to drive down there and get him. When I do I'll see if I can scoop up his best friend to bring along as a surprise. And then I WILL find a theater that's still playing Deathly Hallows Part II and we WILL go see it! Mind, Mom did take me, but I feel so bad for him. He can't not see it, that would just be mean.

Work is work, although I'm realizing how funny Student is and just how much I'm gonna flipping miss her after she's left for college. Most of the time I and others end up laughing until we cry, it's because of some bizarre conversation we had and her contributions to it. A memorable one from Friday is when I told her and several others “Listen you guys, if I EVER get like that nasty old bat at my counter right now when I'm old, you all have my full permission to push my wheelchair off a cliff!” She went into a full blown and animated tirade about how they could take me to the Grand Canyon and go “Ooops, she musta got too close to the edge and caught her wheel on a rock. Man, we ain't gonna miss that tired old nasty thing.”

And now for some snippets of stupidity we dealt with the past few weeks dealing with the general public.

1. Ms. Tardy is habitually late, but Friday, the guest pharmacist, who is pregnant, called her before her shift started and asked could she please clock in, go to McDonald's, and get her a large sweet tea. Twenty minutes after ten, t shows up, Tea in hand. “Sorry it took me so long. The guy in front of me went up to the counter and said he didn't know what he wanted. Well, he knew what he wanted but he didn't know what it was called. 'The thing with apples.' After about five minutes they figured it out. He wanted apple pie.”

Me: “It took two people five minutes to figure out that 'the thing with apples' was apple pie?!”

“No, it took THREE people five minutes to figure that out. The stupid customer and two employees.”

Stay in school, kids!

2. From yesterday. (and the real tradgedy? I wasn't even supposed to be there. I swapped out with Shorty because she needed the day off)

Me: “Date of birth?”

Customer: “555-123-4567”

And again. Different moron this time, but moron just the same.

Me: “Date of birth?”

C: “567 Southwest Blah Street”

Die in a fire.

This is for all the people who:

Know the pharmacy opens at 9AM and will show up at the store EVERY Saturday without fail and get in line five minutes before we open.

See the sign out that says “The Pharmacy will be closed from 1:30 – 2:00 PM for lunch. Thank you” and insist on piling into line at 1:20 – 1:25 despite the five people already standing there. You stupid fuckers.

The people who see the sign after we've already closed down for lunch, and wait around for us to come back at 2 (or after, seeing as how the pharmacist kind of, you know, needs to eat) and then proceed to huff and puff and roll your eyes at us and thank us for making you wait. It's thirty lousy minutes out of our TEN hour Saturday. See how you feel after having that little of time to swallow some lunch and drink a soda.

Pile into line 5-10 minutes before close, again, despite the cluster of people already in front of you.

All of you? Get a life. Seriously, get one. We are open 70 + hours a week and you have to pick open and close times to run in here and fill that scrip you've been holding onto since JANURARY! This even pisses off the pharmacy manager, and he's one of the most laid back people I know, it takes a lot to get him visibly annoyed.

That's about all for now. It'll be a week or two until I have two consecutive days off again, since I swapped half a weekend with Shorty, but she swapped with me a while back when I needed her to, so it's all fair. I wish I didn't keep accumulating these customer stories to put here, but alas . . .

C'est la vie.

It's something I said, or someone I know. Or you called me up, maybe I wasn't home . . .

I've been mostly good. Mostly. It's had its moments, certainly, but it's not all gloom and dark clouds like I feared it would be. I've actually gotten to the point where I'm incredibly open to the idea of finding someone else, and I'm actually ready this time, instead of brooding on what I can't have. Although I won't pretend that part of me doesn't still say, to put it bluntly - "Ken, Y U NO STOP FUCKING UP UR LIFE?!"

Let's talk about work for a while, to change things up, eh? Don't worry, there's more personal shens to be had in this post. One of the other cashiers in pharmacy is, to put it frankly, driving us all out of our fucking minds. She's constantly late, takes forever to do things that me and Shorty could do in 1/2 the time, by ourselves or together, and will do almost anything to avoid being on the register, I swear it's like trying to get blood from a rock. I guess since she's a certified tech, she thinks that she should be back doing tech work instead of cashiering, but she is NOT a tech, it's not her job description. So I really wish she'd get her ass out from behind the pharmacy counter and out there where me and Shorty spend the better part of our days. Even if Shorty or I have started a project because we open on a particular day, Tardy will stealthily make sure she takes over it while we're on the register and leaves us stuck there. Then she'll fart around answering the telephone or 'troubleshooting' stuff on the computers, pissing off literally everyone. Now, as a person outside of work, she's alright and I like her, but working with her is putting a serious chip on my shoulder, I don't care if she's been there for almost two years. She usually was on the 9-6 schedule all the time and then Shorty and I noticed that we were both getting a lot of those shifts with Tardy getting our closing ones. Turns out, this was by request from several technicians who were pleased when either of us opened on Tardy's days off and found we actually showed up on time and did our damn job, and efficiently too, I might add. Of course she's ticked off and can't figure out why the manager is giving her 'weird' schedules, even though he has spoken with her about the tardiness in the past. And the 20 minute bathroom breaks. And being gone on a 15 minute break for half an hour. And the 80 minute lunches. And the calling out sick all the time. Come on now, me and Shorty have lives outside work, too, and we'll cover because we don't want everyone to suffer, but it really does get old fast. One of our technicians has been accepted into pharmacy school (OMG YAY! We're incredibly proud of her and she and her humor and good attitude will be sorely missed). Tardy is convinced that the position will go to her, even though one opened last year and the manager decided to hire an older guy over from another department instead. An older guy with no experience, but a certificate. Hmm. There's talk of:

A tech from another store wanting to transfer here because they're moving

A pharmacy student/intern that is friends with Raj, one of our pharmacist, who is really interested as well and who Raj thinks would be a great fit with us, and

D, another tech, said she'd be thrilled if I got Student's old job after she leaves, although since I have no certification or anything, this is really doubtful. Flattering though.

But either way you slice it, it doesn't look like Tardy is being considered for the job at all, and if our manager has any kind of good sense he will NOT give it to her. Absent techs hurt us, really bad, and I doubt her behavior would change if she changed positions. All I can say is, once that job is filled and she doesn't get it, shit will hit the fan, to be sure. She'll either quit out of anger or let her behavior get so bad that poor manager will be forced to terminate. I do plan on speaking to him tomorrow if I can though, I'm tired of doing the work of two people when there's no reason for me not to. FFS, I was a few minutes late leaving tonight because she decided to run behind the counter and grab the telephones, letting me get tied up with a customer who had a tricky order and questions. Not to mention what she pulled Tuesday, not telling me she had an appointment so I could go to lunch and be back in time for her to leave. Normally its not a big deal if opening cashier stays a few minutes late and I figured no big deal. But when I got back, she was gone and poor old guy tech was on the register pissed off to high heavens because she waited until five minutes to six to tell everyone she had an appointment, meaning he got stuck covering until I got back, and I felt bad. She had ALL day to tell me that and didn't, instead she was more concerned she got all her entitled breaks. Which, btw . . . hardly any of us take our breaks, ever. And she doesn't smoke so that's not an excuse either. Gah. Oh well, just had to get that out!

Ready for more personal crap? Yes? Yay! Like I said, it's been mostly good. As a matter of fact, there's a guy who manages at the Moe's Southwestern Grill where Dix has gotten me frequenting a lot, and I'm starting to think he might be interested. Or he could just be friendly. he was in the store a few weeks ago and made sure I knew he was there and stopped to talk for a little bit. I went in last week and I'm fairly sure he was blatantly staring at me from behind the counter while I was eating. Today I go in and he's chatty, as usual, and pretending to throw things at me. "Imaginary black olives," he said. Joke being, I always want olives on my burrito which makes Dix and Ken (he used to come with us) literally gag, and it's funny. Then he picked up a REAL black olive and chucked it right at me. Then he tried hanging onto my food after I'd paid and we got into a slight tug of war with it. Maybe we've just built up a really nice customer/service type rapport, but I have to say that's the only place I frequent where an employee threw food at me and I thought it was hilarious. Actually it's the only place I've ever had food thrown at me, to be honest. I just don't wanna read into things too much again after the whole other thing. And if it does look like a prospect, the first thing I'm gonna do is run a criminal background check! ;-)

Speaking of the criminal . . . oh my giddy gawd it appears that dipshit has sobered up and remembered I exist. Last week he tried getting in my way while we passed each other down an aisle (and believe me I tried to avoid him) so I bodyslammed him as hard as I could. It would have been totally satisfying had he not seemed to enjoy it. I honestly think I could throw him down and beat or whip him to my heart's content and he'd jizz himself. Weirdo. Tuesday I had to pick Dix up and we ended up getting there early. She wanted a smoke before work so we sat down, thankfully away from him, but he came over and sat with us and tried making conversation and asked when I'd gotten the new phone. Tried to keep it short and not too sweet. Today I'm attempting to walk out the door for lunch (to get olives thrown at me, apparently) and he flagged me down and waved me over. Argh.

"So did you get a new number with the new phone?"

"Yeah."

O__O "Then WHO have I been sending messages to?! [sad5]"

"Oh my god . . . my Mom. She has that line now."

Although I was kind enough to let him know she had all those features blocked before he started to flip out too badly, and that she probably never saw the messages.He's frightened of my Mom, for some reason. All 4-foot 10 3/4 inches of her. He assured me he didn't send anything off-color, but he was still freaked out.

"I sent you the number a month ago, you were probably drunk off your ass. I sent you the picture of the Ho-Sauce, too."

"Ohhhhh, so that's who that was, it was you! I kept sending messages to your old number and I was wondering why you weren't answering back!"

He's a smart one, ain't he, folks? Let this be a lesson to you all that excessive alcohol consumption does indeed kill brain cells. He went on to tell me he wants to come have lunch with me again and even that his 1-10 shift is on the 27th and if I'm closing that day he wants to do lunch hour then, too. And that I need to come on one of his river trips with him but that I should be warned, last time they all got really drunk and ended up skinny dipping in the dark. What the fuck, man. Once he realized I was the person who sent him the 'mysterious' messages and pictures of Ho-Made bbq sauce (Yes, this does exist, look it up!), he was all happy and said now he could text me again and that he'd let me know when he was going to the river next because he really needs to ditch his other friend who always wants money. What is this I don't even . . . wow. The worst part is I'm not sure I still wouldn't go with him, for all that I've said. Although the prospect of his friends scares me, they seem like a bunch of wild shits. Him I'm ok with. Them? Not too sure now. I kind of wish he'd just kept on acting like I didn't exist, because I know I can do better.

In other news, I reached a slight milestone last weekend. I went to Dixie's house where there was a copious amount of Red Bulls and a 750ml bottle of Jagermeister waiting, and between the two of us, it was gone within a couple of hours, maybe less. Her husband decided to just sip on rum instead of getting smashed up. I would have done alright if I hadn't laid down in the back of her pickup truck, I think. The effort of sitting up made me kind of sick, but I felt better afterwards. To anyone who said I'd be a damn mean drunk, nya nya. To anyone who said I'd be a fucking hilarious drunk, you win. I think my conversation wavered between "LOOK, STARS. They're MOVING!" to "Kenny is a deadbeat and probably has every disease known to man" to "I would fuck Barbossa if he were a real person. And Will. At the same time." Then I passed out watching Robot Chicken. Fun times, although I still think getting drunk is overrated. And from what I heard, I bet for damn sure I could drink my friend Kenny under a table.

Anywho . . . those are my musings for now. Maybe I should frequent Moe's even more often than I already do. Otherwise I fear I'll end up with a bloodstream full of vodka naked in the river with a criminal.