Sunday, January 8, 2012

I think I've discovered the polar opposite of "Empty Nest Syndrome"

And I do believe I shall dub it "Restless Little Birdy Syndrome", and I have a full-blown case of it. There are nights like tonight, during which I sincerely wish I was doing something more interesting and engaging than eating a salad and listening to film scores on YouTube. I do plan on changing this in the future, probably within the next year or so. You see, next winter, Dad will be able to retire and live off of a social security check every month, with maybe a small job on the side. Meaning he is going to be spending a lot, a lot of time at home. While I love both my parents dearly, I know that me continuing to live at home after he's retired would no doubt ultimately end in a sad falling out and be the end of our relationship. I can barely stand it when he comes home now. It saddens me to say that it's non-stop stress, literally from the moment he pulls up to the moment he drives away. Over Christmas, I offended him at least twice, just because of the shirts I was wearing. One said "Nice until proven naughty". No Dad, I do NOT wear that shirt to work, although I did see some people doing so and we were allowed to given that it was holiday related attire. Christmas Eve, I got dressed and went out to buy pizza for everyone because I thought a decent meal was called for, given my brother was up for the first time in over a year, and it was CHRISTMAS, (well, almost), and I don't think "a bowl of cereal or peanut butter and jelly" constitutes as a very nice way to celebrate. Blah. Anywho, I was wearing my Iron Man/AC/DC shirt and that earned me a lecture on how "hard rock" will control my mind. FFS! Then there are the weekends, like right now. What is the point of having so many weekends off work if I do nothing with them? I'm so, so very tired of spending every single Sunday (Oh my giddy God, Christmas was no fucking exception!) with old crime drama reruns playing from 1 in the afternoon past 8 at night.

I just can't live with old people anymore, I'm going to go bonkers right out of my poor mind. Mom is always sitting. Literally, sitting. I know she's in her sixties, but honestly, the TV goes on when I'm up getting ready for work, then she goes back to bed after I leave. Gets back up, turns on the Price Is Right, watches that, news, gameshows, and westerns until it's time to feed the horses. Comes right back in, sits down, and watches MORE TV until 11:30 at night. There are week old dirty dishes in the sink, the floor is covered with dog hair and Eru knows what else, and gravy from Christmas dinner is still in a brown, sticky, dried up mass on the stovetop. If she wants to live like this, fine. But it's not healthy. I come home at night and she announces to me that she 'rested' all day like it's something to be proud of. If dad calls and asks what she's doing, she screams "I'M RESTING!!! I'm TIIIIRRRREED!"

I hate it. This is what LifeScript and the glamour of being a stay at home Mom does to some people. Sick.

Anywho, I've been watching the local real estate. Egads, so much cheap, repossessed property if only I could afford it. However, I have this pesky auto loan to pay off. There is roughly $8,000 left on it and I hope to pay it off my this time next year. I've started putting extra on it, it's only $37 a month, but it's something. It helps that Tardy left because her pregnancy was complicated and delicate (Gee, didn't see that coming, ha!) and I've been getting a solid 40 hours a week, if not more. Once the truck payment is gone, I'll have $400 a month to dedicate to house payments, which probably won't even take that much because I've looked around and I can get one as cheap as $81 a month if I go for a repo.

Mentioned it this morning as I was browsing the foreclosures online yet again, and was met with Dad saying "Yeah, but you don't want to do that. You wouldn't like living alone." No, perhaps not all the time, but I can always visit. And I can have my friends over and not impose on him or Mom. Besides, I know that would be a disaster in the making, as my friends are rowdy, loud, raunchy, lacking slightly in manners, etc and so forth. They do know how to behave, but they're so much more fun to be around when they don't. Also I'd rather them not get home-grown sermons, because a large percentage of them are openly gay/bi or extremely supportive of LGBT. Then I wouldn't be sitting at home on a Sunday night like this, eating salad while the expanded score for At World's End makes love to me through the headphones.

NYE was a no go; I got invited both to V, an older tech's house, and to Tardy's place, but I declined both. (Dixie hadn't gotten the new place yet) I had to work the next day and wanted to sleep in my own bed. I also correctly foresaw myself not even making it up till midnight, for the first time since I can't remember when. And there was no way in hell I was going to Tardy's place anyways - these days she refuses to converse about anything unless it has to do with her, her husband, or her pregnancy, topics of which none I find remotely interesting considering how much she ran them into the ground at work. We're planning to make up for it soon, though. Dixie will have something at her house, be it this month, or maybe next for my birthday. There will be an abundance of alcohol and Volde-Mart employees, and it will be amazing. Pippy and his brother will naturally be invited, but oddly enough, the idea that they might not show up doesn't bother me much. There's also the possibility that Johnny will show up on his own, which tickles me as well. Gay, bi, whatever he is, he's a pretty sweet person. I think I'll keep him. Pip I've been 'meh' on as of late. He talks when he sees me, but he's getting very wild and evasive again, goes absolutely batshit crazy on his days off, and Friday when I saw him getting ready to clock out, he was with one of the girls from his department. He walked up, slammed into me and then said I still owe him cake, but that he doesn't want carrot cake anymore, he wants red velvet cake. Not a damn box cake, either. Or dirt pie, dirt pie would also work. He clocked out and kept muttering nonsense about dirt pie, oreos, and cream cheese with his coworker on his heels wearing a very puzzled, slightly worried expression. I think he might have been drunk at work again, or he was just in a really weird mood. BG: I "owe him cake" dates back to months ago when I wrote "Go Noles!!!!" in the dirt on the rear window of his van. He supports the 'Noles rival team, and didn't think it was very funny XD. Ever since then he's been asking for cake to make up for my horrible behavior.

Next weekend, perhaps, we'll do something fun. I am in need of a little liquid therapy, methinks. It's the first of the year, which means lots of insurance renewals, which is annoying because people forget and then present their new insurance cards at my cash register, then get pissed when I send them to the window. There are also the hordes coming to us from Walgreens, who for some reason has decided they will no longer accept Tricare insurance, as well as another popular insurance. Since the third, we have been yelled at, rushed, insulted and just plain overused and abused, and I've had enough of it. Some whiskey and rum will do us good, LOL. Dixie is moving into her new apartment this week, which is a relief in and of itself. I was so glad to get her out of that hellhole of a 'friend's' house she was in. It's a true sign of friendship to say "You have three hours to get out" five days before Christmas, no?

Anywho, that's all I have to say right now. I might tap out a post about work sometime this week. I'm excited and apprehensive about the possibility of moving out late this year or early next, but mostly excited. No more hiding, no more keeping secrets, and I can have my horrible, alcoholic, gay, drag queen friends over anytime I please.

1 comment:

  1. yay!!! this is so exciting, shiny!!! I hope it all works out and it's fabulous that you have a goal to work towards. keep updating! :)