- Pick up Dixie on the other side of town because her husband is Peter Griffin and forgot to.
- Upon arrival, learn that she took a hit off an enormous bong minutes before I got there and is high out of her freaking mind.
- Stop at liquor store
- Go to drive through to get sustenance for friend on weed high.
- Exit driveway and park to give directions to the guy in maintenance, the one who looks like a leprechaun, and the huge guy in unloading.
- Receive text from Produce Guy who is about three miles away from the house and has no idea where to go next.
- Proceed to play phone tag with him because his phone keeps dropping calls right when I'm trying to tell him where to go.
- Arrive at house, get yet another call from Pippy and tell him to stay where he's at so I can come let him follow me.
- That awkward moment when we're all finally there and he blows out of the ghetto van, says he needs to use the front of my truck, and proceeds to pee in Carla's front yard. For several minutes.
I mean geez, she would have let him use the bathroom inside. Or he could have gone into the gas station where we rescued him. But then again, he'd apparently been 'pre-partying' while getting dressed and was already a few sheets to the wind, which would explain why his poor brother was already playing DD. Regardless, you know I've wanted to have alcohol and fun with him for a long time now, and I can say that while things started out a little slow, it was every bit as fun as I thought it would be. Not to mention it seemed like half the store showed up, too. Hugs from everyone! It was amazing. I've never had particularly friendly feelings for the leprechaun in maintenance, but I can't not like him anymore, I just can't. He puts on icy blue contacts and hugs me and calls me Charlie.
I really hadn't planned to have more than a few drinks, but well, sometimes things don't work out the way we mean them to and to put it bluntly, friends, I got slizzard. I have no idea what the fuck was in that orange Bacardi Rum Runner stuff but it slayed me. My judgement also told me there was nothing wrong with taking a big drink out of Pippy's cup when he offered it, which turned out to be whiskey and diet Coke O_o Dixie was the only one there who'd seen me that way before, and a lot of people just saw a whole new side to me, LOL! I kind of had a cloud of shame floating over me when I woke up this morning, but apparently last night ruled. No, I didn't sleep with anyone. There are, however, an alarming number of pictures circulating Facebook in which my arms are shamelessly locked around Pippy or his brother. What? His brother is a sweetheart, and besides that, OMFG, he snuggles when you hug him! No one can hate that. I hung all over a lot of people, male and female, but yeah, the ones of Pip were most photographed. I nearly licked him, too. Looking back, I really wish I had, it's not like he was pulling away or anything - I think I could have done any number of inappropriate things to him and he wouldn't have cared much. Ah, bless, I'm such an opportunist. Although I'm still trying to remember why we got into a shoving match while laughing at each other. Sadly, he had to leave after a few hours, since he had work at 5AM, suck. He missed me, Dixie, and Brian singing along with "Someone Like You" at the top of our lungs before leprechaun ran inside with his fingers in his ears begging us to stop. Also Brian was dressed like a woman - I don't think I've been to a party this year so far that didn't involve at least one gay/bisexual man dressed in drag.
And since it was right next door, I was just able to walk out and go home when I wanted to - on one hand Mom's asked me not to come home late anymore, and also not to come home drunk EVER, but it would have been dumb to stay next door. Thankfully she was already in bed with the lights out and after a quick exchange and her expressing genuine surprise that Flaky McFlakerson actually showed up, I chugged some water and went to bed. Woke up feeling woozy and crappy and thought for sure she'd be onto me, especially since I almost never shower first thing in the morning if I'm not working, but nah. I feel a little guilty but also relieved. It seems as if she honestly has no idea, especially after she expressed disapproval when she found out Pip brought whiskey and then went on to ask me if Ogre drinks at all and if I can't find someone who doesn't do that. Pip's such an ornery drunk though, and I love it. Not that I expect to really go anywhere with him, relationship-wise, but he's still hella fun and I like being with him.
Perhaps next time, my dear friends, I really will pull him a little bit closer and lick his face . . .