Saturday, November 27, 2010

He's just not that into you

For the past few months, those six words have been dirty ones to me. When I was bored, I'd google 'signs he's interested', 'how to know if you are more than friends', and the like, just for fun, and maybe to see if I was or wasn't reading into things too much. And inevitably, even the internet would give me advice I didn't ask for. In every queue of search results that contained articles and silly quizzes, there was always one that would be about 'signs he is not into you' and similar phrases. The cat that resides in me, as it does in many of us, would arch its back and hiss. Not that I wouldn't look at those results every now and then, either. But the past week has been so confusing, but I seem to be seeing things more plainly all the time. Let's evaluate, shall we?

A few weeks ago, this guy was bemoaning the fact that he had no holiday plans, so I invited him to my place. On Monday, he spent at least half an hour pissing and moaning and venting to me how horrible his sister and family are and how miserable he is when they're around getting drunk at his house. He chooses to spend the day with said aggravating family anyways. On Tuesday night he gave me a hug and told me to have a nice Thanksgiving and that he'd see me on Friday. Then popped online that night asking me if I knew how to make icing, because his brother was making a cake and neither of them knew how to make frosting. And we just talked for an hour or so about this and that, he asked me what I thought of his latest picture, I said he's a nice looking guy, blah blah blah, it'd be nice to live on the beach and wasn't it a beautiful night outside? It would have been the best conversation ever . . . if I'd been looking him in the face or at least hearing his voice. Then he said something about being old and I told him he's not and he abruptly had to leave. It's the one thing we come close to getting pissed with each other about, he says he's old, fat, and ugly, and I tell him he's not old, not fat, and he's a nice looking guy. He only gets mad when I disagree that he's 'old'. Whatever. Anyways, I'll leave the rabbit trail now. The point is, I asked him to come to my house and he spent the day with people who he claims make him miserable instead. He said he'd call or text me but he didn't.

Yesterday I asked him if he was working today and he said no, his daughter was coming over. he gave her money to get her driver's license on Thursday but only if she comes over to hang out with him today. It was something like "Dad, are you paying me to hang out with you?!" Yeah, he said he pretty much was, since it's the only way she would spend time with him. Okay, I get it, teenagers are a pain in the ass and he'll blackmail and bribe her if he has to. I can understand that, there's nothing wrong with spending time with your kids. He then went on to exaggerate just how busy (or, as I interpreted it, unavailable) he'd be by saying he had to clean the house today too, because everyone made a mess in it over the holiday.Um, ouch. Spending time with your kids is one thing, blowing me off to clean the house is a whole different story, and you really didn't need to say that. I get it, you're busy. The last few times I've suggested stuff, he always has something else to do. If you're really interested in a person, I think you'd rather go be with them then clean the house or lay around in bed (alone) all day. I've kept telling myself, "I'll get him to come with me the next time, and the next time", always the next time, and yet the elusive 'next time' never seems to happen. D in the Pharmacy invited me to the local hangout for drinks and karaoke tomorrow night and told me to see if I could bring 'Mr. Drunk Messenger' with me. Apparently she's also been entertained by his drunken Facebook shenanigans, which I'll admit are pretty amusing. I thought about sending him a message and telling him about it, but then again, there's not much point bothering, is there? I don't know if it has anything to do with his charges or anything, but he seems completely bleeping WHIPPED by his family. Family is a good thing, but not to the point you'll be miserable just so they'll be happy. His kids might be half grown, but he's attached at the hips with his entire family, even the people he claims to hate, who threaten to throw him out on the street and put him in jail. There are also the numerous nieces and nephews who are hardly adults themselves and already giving him the title 'Great Uncle Pip'. These guys are like his kids and grandkids, and he'll always have them. His family breeds like bunnies. I can only overlook so much. I've always said I don't want to be 'that woman'. The one who breaks up a family by taking a guy away from all his numerous relations so she can have him all to herself, and he ends up snubbing his entire clan. I have a sister in law who did this. I don't want to be her, and yet I won't pretend I haven't harbored a desire to possibly, in the future, move far away with Pip if we got serious so that the closest he'd be to these lunatics is a phone or computer screen. All mine.

I'm going to stop going out of my way to talk with him, at least for a while. If we happen to bump into each other, fine. If not, I'm not going to go traipsing into the produce area when everyone knows I work pharmacy on the exact opposite end of the building. I'm not going to be rude to him, but cool. For a while I was willing to forego other prospects while I chased after him, but I'm tired of chasing him. You can only do that with someone before long before you finally realize that you're just not gonna board that train. I still think Pip's an absolute sweetheart and I'm sure I'll always have some kind of (platonic) love for him, but . . . I'm just tired.

And maybe he's just not that into me.

1 comment:

  1. This is tough realization to come to, and a difficult choice to make, but I think it's for the best. You need to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them!! I know the waiting is tiresome and it's easy to fall for someone who isn't the right person, but hang on... Good luck!