"yea sorry i couldnt come my daughter had a fight with her mom and shes been here since so i was with her"
This is why I should just stick to my guns and not get involved with people who have spawned. Almost ever since I've known him, I've been hearing these awful stories about his oldest child, a 16 year old daughter. The first one was about how she asked him for money, and when he refused, she helped herself to a $20 from his wallet when he wasn't looking. The second was when she 'forgot' to put some potato salad in the refrigerator after it sat out for almost an entire day and served it to him on Father's day anyways. Another was how she had a friend call him up, pretending to be someone's parent, saying that the trip to Daytona beach was going to be supervised by adults. Then how she stopped calling him for two weeks when he wouldn't pay for her driver's license, but decided to be friendly with him again when he finally choked up the cash. But was also mad that his other child, her half-brother was going to be there, because she didn't like him. And also how she's only 16 but lights up cigarettes in the house because she's stressed and will also curse him out to his face.
Ok folks . . . I'm not a parent so I probably 'don't understand', but whether it was my own child or not, I think I would have smacked up this little bitch and washed my hands of her long ago. In all honesty, she sounds like a spoiled, trashy, manipulative little cunt and I harbor a great amount of dislike for her despite us never having met. He admits she's always trying to get him and the ex-wife into fights with each other yet he doesn't do anything about it. And this, on top of all the other red flags accumulating into the ever-growing pile that is Pip's baggage, is another reason I'm really beginning to think I should just write him off as a lost cause. Even if he overcomes his flakiness, his criminal history, his wishy-washy fear of commitment . . . the stupid bitch he calls his 'little girl' will always be there and she'll always have priority over me or anyone else that might be involved with him. Gods I hate kids, especially teenagers. Well, not all of them, but the majority are represented by people like Pip's babygirl. His son doesn't sound too bad, from what I hear he's dumb and lovable, much like his poor Daddy, but the first one . . . yowza. I'm afraid he'd finally get comfortable enough to let me get in his bed every now and then, only to wake up to her trying to kill me in my sleep. Or she'll make his worst fears come true and give him the title of "Grandaddy" before he's able to hit his 40th birthday. And he'd be mad and disappointed and furious and who knows what else. At first . . . but this is the south, after all. I'm sure after a few months he'd get used to the idea, get furiously excited about the idea of a new baybee, and then grandbaybee would become the new reason for his existence.
Gosh, aren't those horrible assumptions to make about a person who is legally a child, that I've never even met? But there you go, I'm being honest, and that's really exactly how I feel about her and the constant drama she's forever inflicting upon her family. I never did this to my parents. Most of the people I know who grew up in split homes didn't do this, either. But maybe the people I know are in a minority. I do know that I don't wanna be this person's stepmother because something tells me we wouldn't get along. I also know that, bratling drama aside, he still could have taken two minutes out of his day/evening to tell me he wasn't coming to dinner. I know he's a chronic phone-checker and also that he was playing on FB around 8:30 that night, so he couldn't have been reasoning with hell-spawn all night. I don't even really know what to say to him anymore. He went on for a while about how 'the girl that was with us on remodel had a babby, did you know?' Dear god, yes I knew. And his spelling of 'babby' both saddens me and cracks me right the hell up at the same time. And also, dear gods, please quit gushing about babies. One reason being the girl who pushed out said babby, only 10 months ago spent long conversations telling us all how much she never intending on pushing out babby and that she never wanted babby. This babby was accident. I'm very, very disappointed in her. 'Accidents' and 'surprise' babies are nothing to celebrate, IMO. They're just another mouth to feed that their parents aren't able to afford, most of the time, and if they really were unwanted, they'll have a crappy life. He quickly changed the subject to ask what movie I saw today and then said he really wanted to see it too (Rango) because . . . "i like johnny dep". Yes folks, he's illiterate, I'm quite aware of this. And I'm being really cruel here, but between that and babby, I was cracking up like a moron. Maybe my coldness translated through the interwebs, because after confessing his love for Johnny Depp, he said he'd better let me go because I have to go to work tomorrow. At 4 in the afternoon, like I just told you, genius. Gotta get up early to be there at such an ungodly hour, doncha know. Shame on that boss of mine.
Am I still mad at him? Yes. Hurt by his constant mixed feelings and flip flopping around? Yes and yes. Am I glad that conversation ended quickly and before I let myself go into fits of twitterpated giggles at his stupidity instead of mockingly laughing at him from the other side of the screen? Yep. I have my Mom and two close friends who are familiar with the situation telling me I really need to drop him and find someone worth my time who won't pull this childish stuff on me. And I agree, although I'll admit here and now that over the past few months, I let myself develop very strong feelings and a strong attachment to this guy, no matter how stupid or inconsiderate he might be. I cared about him very much and I know it won't be easy severing those feelings and that it won't happen overnight, either. But you wanna know something?Possibly TMI, just so you can say you were warned . . .
Despite how I'm certain there will never be anything of substance between us, that he probably doesn't at all feel about me the way I felt about him . . . heaven help me I still wanna fuck him. Even last May when I found myself wanting to throw up everything I ate since the 8th grade after I'd found out about his trafficking charges, the sexual attraction I initially felt for him was still there and possibly even stronger than before. He likes sex, I know he does. Everyone likes sex, right? And yes, even now I'd still do him just because I want to, and he's not bad to look at. Neither of us are supermodels, not by a long stretch, but I think we'd have a good time or at least get each other off. I think these feelings will be the hardest to get rid of, because it seems the more he disappoints me, the more angry or upset with him I am, the more I want to screw him. How messed up is that? Is it because I know he doesn't care about me romantically, intimately? Because he's the type of person that'd be up for a throw-away sexual fling? I know from things he's told me that:
At another job, he had an affair with his boss once. His married boss. Whose husband was working in the same location. He said they used to go out in the middle of the night on lunch hour and screw in her car.
He wants to die while having sex. Mind, I'd rather he DIDN'T die if he was having sex with ME, but it's still a kinky thing to know about a person, that that's how he wants to go.
And by some fucked up reason when a remodel break conversation turned to men and porn habits, I know the exact noise he makes when he . . . yeah. I was distracted for the entire rest of the shift, thanks alot, man, LOL.
I've tried getting rid of these thoughts, I really have. I thought watching some porn myself last night might do the trick, although I'm not really into porn that much, to be honest. But I did find some stuff that was alright, I have to say. Except . . . my mind would twist that attractive couple on the screen into us. I somehow couldn't stop becoming that woman and the guy up there licking and thrusting and biting . . . yep, he became Pip.
I'm almost certain now that Pip doesn't want me for a girlfriend and I'm fairly certain he's not really great relationship material, anyways. He seems to be slipping into the category of 'people I know and would dearly love to nail', and I have no clue what to do about it.